Because Cloverfield…sucks.

Not only did I spend eighty percent of the movie with my head between my knees trying desperately to keep from revisiting my lunch, but I spent the other twenty percent utterly bored.

I didn’t connect with any of the characters. I wasn’t scared of the monster. And I wasn’t impressed by the cinematic techniques. (Ooh, shaking cameras and first person point of view. Hello, Blair Witch.)

Ugh. I want two hours of my life and ten dollars back. Although…I might be willing to work out a trade. He can keep my ten dollars in exchange for a kick-ass season of Lost. And a promise not to make a sequel. (Seriously, who are these people clamoring for a sequel?!)